Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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