I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
