Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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