She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
