HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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