I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
