My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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