I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
