Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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