I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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