the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
