Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize