tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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