she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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