that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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