I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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