I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This is my gift to your gina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
