idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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