I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
