i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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