Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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