Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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