Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize