erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize