I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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