Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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