are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize