Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
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