She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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