it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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