just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
