You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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