Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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