How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
