a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
