At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
