Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
