Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
