glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Found the puke drawer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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