i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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