it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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