how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
