she was so not down for the gang bang
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
