i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
