Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize