You made me cry and you don't even care
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
