He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
