So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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