You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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