Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
