Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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