very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
