You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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