she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
