He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
