you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
