Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
