Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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