You just made me feel so damn special
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
