you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
