You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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