Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
