woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
