the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
