ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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