I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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