I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
