some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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